When Should We Start Talking About It?
Let’s be honest. Can you remember the last time you went to the bathroom by yourself? You may have boundaries, but more than likely, your children do not.
If you’re a mom and your children have ever barged in during your period, they usually ask questions. They know something is different about this bathroom trip. Take that opportunity to introduce the conversation of menstruation. Dayton Children’s (2022) suggests building upon your child’s understanding at an early age, limiting confusion, and making the topic less embarrassing to talk about as they come of age.
You can start the conversation by saying, “Mommy’s body makes a home for a baby every month inside my uterus, which is in my belly. When my body does not make a baby, it gets rid of the home, and that’s why I’m bleeding. It happens monthly and is a normal part of being a woman.” If that opens a floodgate to other questions, you can always explain that you’re not ready to talk about that topic; you will let them know when you’re ready. Your children will respect you for being honest with them.
What Are The Physical Signs to Look Out For?
One of the first thoughts that crosses every parent’s mind is, “What physical changes will give me a clue about when my daughter will start her period?” It’s hard to know when to approach the conversation with your daughter about her menarche. Is she mature enough? Does she have any friends who started? Will she be scared? One way to calm your angst is to familiarize yourself with the physical signs of puberty in girls.
Menarche typically begins between the ages of 9 and 15. The average age is 12 years old. The first sign of puberty is breast development, followed by pubic and armpit hair growth. More than likely, your preteen is bathing on her own. Noticing your daughter has armpit hair is a defining moment. You can almost guarantee they have pubic hair; for a parent, that is a big deal! They’re officially growing up; their innocence is starting to fade ever so slightly. Don’t worry, they’ll still need you to pay for everything, and you still have some time. Girls will start their period approximately two years after breast development.
Other signs include the following:
- Acne
- Rapid growth in height or breasts
- Mucousy white or clear vaginal discharge usually (six months to a year before the first period)
- Changes in mood
How Can I Support My Daughter When It’s Time for Her to Start?
Explaining menstruation to your daughter is a task in itself. Unicef’s video Menstrupedia teaches girls about their period. It covers topics such as diet, hormones, anatomy, and pain relief. There are cultural differences from those in North America; however, you will find plenty of valuable information in this 19-minute video.
Prepare your child with the needed essentials if she starts her period at school or is not with you. You can have her pick out a cute little canvas bag and stock it with the following items:
- Pads or pantie liners
- An extra pair of panties
- A small pack of wipes
- A little bag for soiled underwear
Giving Her Control
The first time your daughter starts her period will be overwhelming; however, knowing exactly what to expect and that she has everything she needs will help her feel safe and in control. Educating yourself about menarche, puberty, when to call the doctor, and feminine hygiene can make this experience for you and your daughter less intimidating and give you the preparedness you deserve.
References
American Family Physician. (1999, July 1). When your child is close to puberty. American Family Physician, 60(1), 223-224. https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/1999/0701/p223.html#:~:text=In%20girls%2C%20breasts%20develop%20first,around%2013%20years%20of%20age.
Cleveland Clinic. (2022, September 9). Menarche. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24139-menarche.
Dayton Children’s. (2022, May 9). Talking about puberty and periods with your child. https://www.childrensdayton.org/the-hub/talking-about-puberty-and-periods-your-child#:~:text=Periods%20start%20for%20most%20children,uterus%20by%2015%20years%20old.
Menstrupedia. (2020, May 26). Hello periods (English) – The complete guide to periods for girls [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUNTtn1WPEw.
Nemours KidsHealth. (n.d.). Talking to your child about periods. Retrieved September 11, 2023, from, https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/talk-about-menstruation.html#:~:text=Most%20girls%20get%20their%20first,that%20it%20will%20start%20soon.
Unicef South Asia. (2023, May 28). How to support your daughter with her first period. https://www.unicef.org/rosa/stories/how-support-your-daughter-her-first-period.